Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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