Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
