I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just googled if crying burns calories
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
