That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
