Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just tell him i said nine months
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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