you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
