There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
