Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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