sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
