Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
my liver is dry heaving
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
