he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
