I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
