I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
