Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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