Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I believe in your delicious
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
