I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
