Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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