a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
