I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
