I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Randomize
