dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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