I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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