Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
