After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
