Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
