It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
