he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
