my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
