Buhtt sex?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
