we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
