:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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