She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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