U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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