I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
