About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
