I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
