"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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