FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The adults are the big ones right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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