Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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