make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
