They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
