Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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