If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
