oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
