belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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