Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
