The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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