Ambien. No doubt about it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
