I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
