fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
