oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
