the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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