i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
