idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
